Writing down my journey..

Even its a glimpse of hope, always keep it alive :) Sometimes when you are somewhere at the lowest point of life and in a crisis, a miracle does happen and that was what has happened to me, time and time again :) Its like I am being blessed for creating miracles for myself. Just like I am equipped with a superpower - to be able to create miracles. But of course, nothing drops from the sky. I believe firmly more on the positive attitude within me and the never dying attitude that keeps create such "miracles." As I was complaining on my personal financial crisis where I went down into a serious recession on my previous post and just the next day, a solution came to me. Now I am a private tutor for 2 secondary 1 students and a primary 2 student, which means I will not be struggling so much on my financial issue now, or maybe not anymore :) This news was so great to me that my relative with 3 kids is looking for a tutor, hence I decided to do what I do best, teaching and mentorin

Things are going badly, downturn of family issue. Struggle for financial issue is hurting relationships. Debts here and there. Even 3 meals is a problem. Just want to get over this unlucky year and wish for a better smooth year ahead. Never worry for money like this before, used to be able to control my financial pretty well. If I am low in cash, I know where to earn it. I got my resources. But now I am so tight up with my commitments that I am obliged to work outside because I am under service. I lost my freedom and also my basic rights(to be able to earn money). Its pushing me to my limit for a bad offer which is to sign on with the air force. But that will be very harsh and unwise. I need a miracle somewhere, please make it happen.

On the last day of November 2011, Would like to thank a special someone for making my 20th birthday with the most number of presents of 9. Also, a joyful and memorable month of this year. It goes into record book, thank you sheryl :) Your effort, your love and your time. I saw it invested in me and appreciate every single one of these presents. 親爱的谢谢你， 爱你不是你的美而以， 而是我们的默契越来越靠近， 你的爱我越来越珍惜， 就这样你的明天我不想缺席。

我很想成为 一个很厉害的人， 让这个世界 因为有了我 而有一点点的改变 而我的世界就不过是你的心。

I am struggling to draw a balance in my inner peace. Some negative perceptions is disallowing my happy cells to function arghhhh. Many questions are flooding through my mind again. How will I adapt? Will I do well? Did I made the right decision or could I have made a better decision? Will I change for the good or bad with this environment? Argh..Calling cells for a conference meeting!

Your post 也说出上我心里的感受 :) 我只想说如果工作有什么事让你烦或其他的事情，你都可以和我分享。因为说出来比闷在心里头较舒服啊！ Yesterday was a good evening with you :)

Jenny - Click 5. Missing times when I was 16-18 where I was having my time at Habbosoup Radio as a DJ. This song was one of the top 20 countdown songs. This song was one of the most played song. This song was very popular among the fans with tons of dedication requested for. Radio DJ would play the the song and also get a room to chill for listeners to gather at too. I say, Habbosoup was my Youth, my childhood :)

我很喜欢我们的关系 一段敢爱敢恨的恋爱 有话会说出来但会好好说 一起勇敢地面对问题 说出来后也比较开心，心情比较舒畅 就因为这样我跟加喜欢你，喜欢我们 :)

Being shifted from company office to a corner at the ground staircase. FML. Feeling like harry potter now. Hopefully a big guy appears and rescue us. Just nice, there are 3 of us -_-. I say first, I wanna be Harry.

以美好的心，欣赏周边事物； 以真诚的心，对待每一个人； 以负责的心，做好份内的事； 以谦虚的心，检讨自己错误； 以宽阔的心，包容伤害你的人； 以真诚的心，对待所拥有的； 以平常的心，接受已发生的事实； 以放下的心，面对最难的割舍； 以感恩的心，感谢所有的人。

Revealing my forumla to be a happy kid: 1. Free your heart from hatred - Forgive. 2. Free your mind from worries - Most never happens. 3. Live simply and appreciate what you have. 4. Give more. 5. Expect less from people. Happy mind kick starts a fresher day. Live everyday with a happier heart :) Many people around us tend to complain this and that, induce negative thoughts to territorize our happy cells. So produce more happy cells to fight em'! :D

Tekong Weather: Rain, Cat1 - 31 degrees, 26 degrees. Office/OOT room - feels like winter (Cold...) Comparing back to 2010's winter, realised a difference in a year does matter... Back in the year of 2010, situated at the center of korea, Daejeon as a carefree exchange student where I was having what I called... the freedom of my life. Now, Tekong... sigh... Guess thats life, you have your ups and downs. Positively, at one of the aspect of life, i am having my "up". Thats how life get balanced off well :)

Another great composer found with gorgeous music - Yanni. Came across one of his many famous instrumental music, "Dare to dream" on Youtube and found that the pictures on the video were interesting, did some googling and found it is actually a form of art, an art call surrealism. Surrealism is a cultural movement that began in the early 1920s, and is best known for the visual artworks and writings of the group members. Surrealist works feature the element of surprise, unexpected juxtapositions and non sequitur. He has many great songs, this is one worthwhile to share :)

Lately, having mutiple dreams that I am in army camp. In my waking life, already in army camp. Not letting me off even in my sleep, Briefly, last night dreamt that I sneaked out of army camp during lunch hours in my soldier uniform to look up my girl as a form of surprise. She was busy so we only talked for a short while and I went to eat lunch with 2 other friends and went back to camp. Couldnt remember the details clearly but it was much more than this. Concentration Camp To see or live in a concentration camp in your dream, indicates that you are afraid of differences. You are having difficulties accepting others and their differences. Learn to appreciate diversity and the uniqueness in yourself and in others around you. If you actually lived in a concentration camp, the dream may signify a situation in your waking life which is triggering similar feelings felt at the time. True enough, indeed I had the thought to give a surprise to my sweetheart by taking MC and appear at her offic

Just got a call from mum last night that my dad has been hospitalised due to low red blood cells. I sincerely pray and wish the best for my dad's health. Want him to be healthy and lively again. Just hope everything is fine. Sometimes I have to get whacked, then start to reflect, by the time it maybe too late.

Words as honourable as it is sometimes may not be the actual truth of what we think subconciously, but dream does reflect the honest feeling of how we are feeling about ourselves and life. Last night, I had a dream on elevator. I was in it with my sister, we were taking it back to our storey.. However the elevator did not get us on to the indicated floor which we wanted and even got us over the limit of the building of 25th floor. The block was having construction on lift as it is increasing the level of storeys hence the elevator eventually reach on to the wrong floor at 40+ floor. After then, we were stuck there for awhile, panicing if we have to get out of the elevator and slowly climb the ladder down. But after then was pushed down by one of the contractor all the way to ground floor. This is the 10% of the dream that I could remember. Went to do an analysis on the web, and it truly reflects what I am thinking spiritually: http://www.auntyflo.com/dream-dictionary/elevator-or-lift-d

OOT (Out of Training), which means no more further training at tekong, a dream that many soldier recruits would love to have. But for me, I am going through a mixed feeling. Once again, confused. Memories started to inundate through my mind on my first day when I stepped onto the sacred land of Tekong. What happened to me was I made a decision to consult the doctor after being down for sometime due to flu, cough and sorethroat which made me unable to give my 100% for training. I decided to look for treatment. Until when I stepped into the doctor's room, after mentioning the above symptoms. I decided to check my knee which have been a pain for me for the past 4 years that had more than 10 episodes of dislocation with the doctor. I had an x-ray and advised that my knee cap is higher up and referred to me a sports med at CGH, changi general hospital. At CGH, doctor did several check and I was later given a thorough check on my knee with the ultrasound device (a similar one that doctor

I could look at you for the whole day, listening to you, hearing you scolding me, holding your hand, staring at you, hearing you telling me the same thing over and over again, and will never get sick of it. Good morning sweetheart :)

OH ONE THING I WANNA REJOICE WITH! I PASSED MY COMPASS TEST! (Aka Pilot test) Based on the test, I am qualified to become a UAV pilot aka remote control pilot, Air Warfare officer C3 (the one at control station giving instructions) and Weapon systems officer (the one analysing data in fighter jet) But but but... I am not qualified to become a pilot. I am so happy that I got through the 5 hours test, which was mind-fucking tiring. Heard not many pass the test, so yea deserve to give myself a pad on my back :)

Little break from a 2 years army. Enjoying my 5 days break. Once again pondering... what will I become in the future? Who are you? What are you living for? Why are you here on earth? Who do I want to be? These 4 questions, even hesitated on the first. I realised as a teen, I am still searching for a place, a spot in the earth. I have too many ambition, dreams that I want to fufill them but I dont have enough time to do all them out. I can only choose one, but which one gurantees me the best future, which gurantees me the best stability and reward? Sign on with the singapore airforce? Get a honourable degree and work in the society? Setup my own passion and liking, an entreprenuer? Go for my passion for adventure - scuba diver? dolphin trainer? mountaineer? One of my biggest dream is to lay my footpath on the 5 elements in the earth that not many people has gone to the extent to, blending in with the earth and witness the real beauty of the nature - the 5 elements - fire(volcano), water

Last weekend was another memorable one with sweetheart. It was my first cruise experience and also our first time too as 2. Had this fate to travel on to the cruise all courtesy thanks to my dearie's effort who made it to the semi final of the cruise singing competition. Thank you dear for making this happen, and thank you fate and god for making it happen. I am fortunate to be able to cruise it up with you despite my commitment in camp. Have been thinking about this trip since 3-4 weeks back when the result was announced. I was thinking hard on how can i join you. But miracle do happens and it did, dont know how it does, but it just did. Both of us know this deep down in our heart, questioning it but secretly enjoying these moments :) I guess what happened, do happen for a reason :) However it seems this week have been a rocky start for you with a bad night on monday and things not going the way it should be. Like I said, when things gets more complicated. Dont fret, dont panic. W

Our relationship is full of surprises, its a miracle. Every week, or even almost everyday, theres a magical incident between us, as if there are two love angels pulling us together. Thank you for the blessings from above. Never stop believing, when you believe, there is hope. And.... my favourite quote; Keep hope alive. So sweetheart, just be yourself and sing your passion towards music out for tomorrow's singing competition semi final round :) Be you, and believe in yourself. When miracle happens, it signifies something good. So tomorrow will be a good one. All elements are on your side, the rest is all dependent on your own efforts. You will do well :) I BELIEVE IN YOU!

When that meteor crosses path high up in the sky, its where our love path begins its journey too. Whenever our magical 默契 re-ignites, i believed more you are the one. Every night, thanks for being that someone who I can turn to, where I can unleash all my troubles, share my happy happenings helping me to charge my body battery to the maximum for the next day. That little giggle of yours is good enough for me to pull through all the toughness i face, thanks for appearing in my life. Not only are you my lover, but also my soulmate whom i can selflishlessly share, sweetheart :) Happy 1st Month! Looking back at our days in our 1st month, Those times were good, they were lovely and worth remembered for :) 我不会甜言蜜语, 更不懂得讨女孩子欢心 我只想简单的做我自己 我只希望拥有一种能力 能让我爱的人笑咪咪 因为你我两颗心 慢慢的靠近 , You belong with me :) 24th Sept @ Vivocity. My first book out after 2 weeks confinement! Seeing you on first sight, that 2 weeks misery ended in a spilt second. Told ya I would bring you to do something that you won't

From day 1, I knew you was the one. And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you Laying low on the wooden chair at midnight With stars aligned, as if they are stringed together. Enjoying the cool breeze , and the calm sound of the wave . As we count the stars, something came swifting pass across our eyes. Doubted but shouted, "METEOR!" We looked at each other with a loud silence Laying low again after the excitement, another meteor flew pass once again. How many times does one get to see a meteor? 2 meteors came flying within a night, and only in our eyes, as if telling us a message. At then, I knew I can't be wrong, you are the one. Missing the last evening at redang with you on the hammock. I am so glad, I found you :) Redang was an awesome place where I had many fond memories in this 4D3N trip. When we first checked in, the receptionist asked if we were siblings. And the next moment what we know is we found a "daddy", this diving inst

‎ 1 Universe, 9 Planets, 204 Countries ,809 Islands, 7 Seas, and I had the privilege to meet you.

I may start afresh one day, deactivating my facebook account, blog, emails, msn, skype and even my mobile number. I really need a new start. A whole new beginning where I can start all over again. Always wanted to have a world without mobile phone, 有缘再相见.

Hate emo nights, cos it sucks to know it has ended and there is no duplicate of you. Fuck the night and FML. Be strong... shouldn't be emotional anymore. Wake up wake up.

Couldn't resist flipping back the old dusty letters Our times & memories was the best gift from god. Thank you, i am happy to see you moved on. Just hope you are truly happy. I should too. Time together is never quite enough. Cherish your loved ones.

An old lao bo bo, told me this.. "人哪, 对于不知道的事情...总是抱着好奇又期待的心情. 慢慢地等上手了...就感觉自己能掌握住什么...人的野心跟傲慢是无边无际的. 你太年轻了,等你上我这个年纪呀, 你就知道了..... 人哪...不能 太清醒.... 你太清醒啊就是...太清楚...你太清楚就是...痛苦" 老伯虽然看起来像个流浪汉, 但讲的话也还是满有哲理的. ..

I realised I have been leaving my weekends and evenings free for a reason for the past 3 months, which actually resulted me idling most of my time and lost track of my goals. Then you realised who are the ones that actually sincerely cares for you. Life is short, appreciate the finer things, and cherish those who loves you. Next few days will be hectic.. I supposed. I am cooling myself down tomorrow while preparing a test on wednesday. Then will head to redang from 3 to 6 sept and getting ready for army on the 8th. Tuesday - Prepare for COMPASS test Wednesday - COMPASS test (1st test for pilot selection) @8am. Thursday - Accompany friend for the search for laptop, then pack bag for redang and army. Friday - Squash Camp Saturday to Tuesday - Redang Trip Wednesday - Cut Botak and spend some quality time with family Thursday - 8th September Enlistment After some soul-searching, i realised I have been idling my time for the past 3 months and I realised the reason. So I

Many asked me, "Alex, what are you going to do after army?" Or.. "where are u going to study after army?" So i asked myself...Is studies that important? Does a certificate determines how smart or knowledgeable one is? If so, this society ain't a perfect one. Doesn't seem to favour the education system of this world, nor the education I have been receiving all these while. Do we know what we are studying for? or is it because of the pressure of this world. Is studying what we want or part and parcel that one should go through. I am not retaliating anything here, just felt the education foundation laid since young was already wrong. Why does one has to be up high in the hierachy of an organization then would be respected and praised smart. How smart? Some people used all means to climb up to the top, but when they are really up there then they realised they lost > gain. Is that really smart? Why one can't be an intelligent farmer as well? S

Being a yes person too much, i realised i have hurt people around me. From this, i learnt a lesson but unfortunately the class was dismissed. I feel it now, dejected and unforgiven. Thank you I learnt alot from you.

Cause I did some good and I did some bad, I know what we had was true.

"2 years, i can't be selfish." Things are falling nicely into pieces, but there are somethings that I cant do. Especially after building a good relationship with someone, and have to surrender because i cant commit. 2 years, i can't be selfish. Hate it when you want to bring something to a newer level but have to control what is happening naturally. Geesh. I dont like to throw things that I like aside, but this time, looks like I have to activate the 'stop' button.

每天上班提老板赚钱, 你是否也该为自己的梦想加班?

These memories are too much for me to hold, it was a hard decision. Sorry, but i promise I will be there again. Ever since december 22 last year when i landed my feet in singapore from korea. I told myself i will be back in 2011. March 2011 I nearly made a move because my family wanted to go but mum chose taiwan in the end. July and August was an agony. Was pondering and planning hard. After much considerations and discussions with family, friends as well as topher and daniel, came into a conclusion that I will be keeping the money instead. Many thoughts, I wanted to go real bad because the life and moments i had there was unforgettable. Topher was like a little daddy there for me, and daniel was a elder brother where both assured me that I will not be lonely there. Reason for not going, my mum and sister was opposive, against the idea of me going there again. My mum especially but after some persuasion, she allowed. I even found a great deal of $683 included with tax to

七夕节的来历： 每年的农历七月七日是中国的情人节。比起外国的情人节更是专指向「爱情」。因为外国的情人节，原旨是人与人之间的互爱，或亲情、或友情、或爱情，并非只限于男女之情。但是中国的七夕情人节，则是描述一对情侣的故事。 传说，天上玉皇大帝有七个女儿，其中最小的女儿织女，最聪明可爱、手艺又巧。天上皇宫中的重要织锦都由她负责设计与制作。另外，玉皇大帝有一群牛，由一个叫做牛郎的年轻人负责管理。两人情投意合、互相爱慕，至荒废了原本工作。于是玉皇大帝下旨，叫喜鹊告诉这两个热恋的情侣要节制，七日见一次面即可。没想到喜鹊传错话，他们以为每天均可相见，更是高兴无比，工作完全抛在脑后。 玉皇大帝这回就龙颜大怒，降旨他们每年只能见一次面，就是农历七月七日的晚上。那一天喜鹊这群肇事者就负责搭桥，让他们两人踩在他们的肩膀上相会。因为一年仅能见一次面，当然有说不完的衷曲、道不尽的悲情，于是那天几乎都会下着毛毛雨，象征两人的泪水。 从这个故事，可以看见传统中国人对于「负责的工作态度」十分看重。不过因为爱情的浪漫却使得这个七夕情人节传说走样，大家通常将焦点集中在「情侣被迫分隔两地」。强调情人好不容易见面，那种凄美绝伦的场景。于是很多因为工作、因为当兵、因为父母反对、因为求学、、各种原因分隔两地的情侣，都会希望在农历七月七日见到面。然后两人就心理投射自比为牛郎、织女，一起浸淫在这种浪漫感人「被迫害妄想」的情怀！ 如果你有情人，那就好好享受这种热恋的感觉。如果你没有情人，那你就思想七夕情人节的传统教训是表达「负责任的工作态度」重要性，好好去努力工作一番吧. 七夕情人节,在这里见证你的爱情...... 希望你能得到你的爱情

Thank you really much for all these lovely gifts from my colleagues and i even have some left over presents since june ahaha while one of ex colleague left before me. Really liked the MAN UTD cap alot, with the card and Rose. I was paiseh cos i didnt prepare anything for my colleagues. But they have been a great pillar of strength with and for me. They taught me and it has been a great journey where i had many fond memories. I learned negotiation skills and how to beautify words. Its all about how you make your words sound more appealing, choice of words really makes a different. Once again, thank you.

Its disheartening when you learnt how to accept but yet the result turned out wasn't what you expected. Awkward and disheartened. You were actually the main reason why I didn't want to go to korea. But things seems to change, and its that fast and i did realised. Maybe sensitive and negative. I am not sure when is the next time I will learn to accept, but for now I will have to learn how to let go.

我们自己都有梦想. 但可惜不一样. 有梦想是好事, 我们在同一片天空下一起加油!

没有巧事, 哪来的巧字. 那我们在这本已写好的故事究竟会是如何? 我们又在第几页了呢?

Life, it is just like a temp job. Life is just a span, very temporary. We're all in queue to the end. Some people goes after the fame and money, and some for love. Whatever you have chosen, cherish what you have and dedicate your time to those that truly loves you. Music is memories best revision.

Its july already. 7 months has passed and i achieved typically nothing. Where was my goal and dream? I wanted a scuba diving cert, where is it? I wanted to get a driving licence, where is it? I wanted to shape up, where is it? I needed braces, its not in my mouth. I am left with 2 weeks @ Search Network. I wouldnt say it was a waste of time, at least I made a few friends, learnt a few lessons, understood more on the employment market, seen different types of ugly people. After this, I am left with mere 1 month before I get enlisted into the army. Not much time really, not much time. Some thoughts on a peaceful sunday morning.

So much beauty, within our world. It makes me tear up, i love nature so much. I would give up everything, that was manmade. If people back then, lived without this kind of stuff. Then we could too. In my opinion. If only our heart is as big as the earth, it would be beautiful. Too focus sometimes on work, on studies, and on love. we forgot to appreciate these nature around us. It just tells how ignorant i have been.

These 3 days hasn't been that smooth in work. Or maybe 2 and a half days. The 2nd half of today was a happy one with smurf :) So much of lalalalalalalala~~ When I am sick, I cant stay at home. I need to get out, get some sunshine and laughter. Then i will get better. This was what topher taught me, miss him so much. Its July, nearly a year to september. Those memories in korea was a beautiful dream.

我没有这样思念过一个人. 已经习惯你的声音, 你的笑声和你的存在. 每天早上都希望看到的第一个人是你. 但今天发现看到的却只是张...空椅子. Hais...也许我也太小男孩气了吧. 这个世界没有绝对和永远的事, 但我会握住这些温暖的回忆.

这个世界真的有缘分吗? 如果没那缘分,哪来的巧字? 算了, 只掸琴不谈情. Don't forget your purpose alex.

The date is here 8th September, 10.45am. Lets get it over and done with these 2 years, and a new man will be born. Side track, 25 - 26th June @ Kukup, Malaysia.

While we are living in a comfortable environment where we do not need to worry about our 3 meals and a shelter at night, we still complain. There is someone out there who had to live on selling gums and energy drinks since 5 year old for 10 years to get 3 meals or maybe not even 3 meals, and also to sleep on stairs or and public toilets. Why are we still complaining how hard our life is, how hard our job is, or maybe even some on the family environment they have. This guy didnt even had a chance to choose a family, an orphan since 3. He had to sell things to earn some money in exchange of food to live on and sleeping on streets. People are complaining how much little money they have despite all the work load they are given. People are blaming governments that they are not doing enough, complaining about poor train service. We should be grateful that we have a transport service call train, if not we had be walking all around now. Even how hard life is, is it as bad as this guy? No famil

Shared some korea and travel tips with the new batch of students going for exchange programme in september. Its a walk back again to those memories, those korean-english ascent from my roommates and those great dinner times. Its a once in a lifetime experience. Think back again, if i go back. Not many are left too. We had many accompany like the singapore girls, china and taiwan girls. But then everyone has returned to their origins. It was really a moment, a dream. With this, I went back to my korean cellphone and flipped back those memories on messages and photos. The last message was from topher - "Comrades Forever". No matter where we are, lets fight hard for our dreams under the same deep blue sky. It was the last coffee me and olga had. The last moment with Young Kim. And the final departure. Thank you for those great memories. From left to Right - Yi ling, Huizin, Shu Ying, Keely, Topher, Me, Mimi, Summer, Bryan