Emotional grilling night


I still remember the promise - River flows in you.

I read my archives from this year jan to april.
Mixed feelings now.
I don't know what to say.
I don't know what to do is right.
I need some guidance.

When i met with obstacle in mar-apr, i chose to run away.
I feel regretful,
how much i worked hard to gain back,
but lost it because of my foolish thoughts once again.
And once again, its cos of my foolishness.

However,
another thought tells me that it is a blessing in disguise and i shouldnt blame myself totally because it wasnt an individual effort thing.
If that did not happen, would my life still be what it is now?
It tells me, it is just a puppy love.

Again,
I just cant stop thinking of the 6 letters daily.
If you ask me why i love her.
I can say i have no idea.
Its just so strange that her eyes tells me she is the one.

See... thats why i say i am having mixed feelings now.
I have been pushing myself really hard even to the extent to flirt and thinking of to start a new relationship but i just cant do it.
I think i really need counselling.

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